Why Your Clients Keep Failing (And It's Not Their Willpower)
I used to be that coach who measured success in before-and-after photos.
You know the type—obsessed with body fat percentages, macro calculations, and those sweet, sweet transformation posts that rack up the likes. I had clients who'd lose 20 pounds, post their success story, then quietly gain it all back six months later. Rinse, repeat, blame their "lack of motivation."
Then I had my own spectacular breakdown.
Picture this: I was in the best shape of my life, eating "perfectly," hitting every workout. I was also crying in my car after client sessions, my relationship was falling apart, and I felt like a fraud teaching wellness while barely holding my shit together.
That's when I realized something the fitness industry doesn't want to admit: We're solving the wrong problem.
The 16% Problem (And Why Your Coaching Might Be Broken)
Here's a stat that'll make you spit out your protein shake: Food and fitness account for only 16% of what determines your clients' long-term success.
Sixteen. Percent.
So what about the other 84%? That's where things get interesting—and where most coaches completely drop the ball.
We're so busy focusing on workout splits and meal prep that we're missing the massive psychological, social, and environmental forces sabotaging our clients' progress. It's like trying to fix a leaking roof by repainting the living room. Sure, it looks nice, but you're still gonna get wet.
Enter the Life Archaeology Approach
I call my method "life archaeology" because that's essentially what we're doing—carefully excavating the layers of a person's existence to understand why they really can't stick to that meal plan.
Traditional coaching asks: "What should you eat?" Life archaeology asks: "What's eating at you?"
The difference? Night and day results.
Instead of the usual surface-level approach, we dig into what I call the Six Pillars of Human Complexity. Yeah, I know, sounds fancy, but stick with me—this framework has saved my sanity and my clients' results.
Pillar 1: Physical Reality (The Only One Most Coaches Actually Address)
This is your bread and butter—nutrition, exercise, sleep, recovery. But here's the kicker: if this is ALL you're addressing, you're basically trying to fill a bucket with holes in it.
I had a client, Sarah, who couldn't understand why she kept binge-eating on weekends despite following her meal plan perfectly Monday through Friday. Turns out, her physical hunger was fine—it was her emotional starvation that was driving her to the pantry.
Pillar 2: Emotional Landscape (The One That Makes or Breaks Everything)
How someone FEELS about food, their body, and their progress matters more than any macro split. I've seen clients with "perfect" diets who hate themselves, and clients with imperfect eating who radiate confidence.
The question I always ask: "What emotions are you trying to eat away?" Because if we don't address the feelings, the food will always be a band-aid.
Pillar 3: Mental Bandwidth (The Invisible Energy Drain)
Your client's brain is like a smartphone battery. Decision fatigue, stress, overwhelm—they all drain the battery. When it hits 10%, good luck getting them to meal prep or hit the gym.
I started asking clients: "On a scale of 1-10, how fried is your brain right now?" If it's above a 7, we're not talking about adding MORE to their plate. We're talking about what we can remove.
Pillar 4: Purpose and Meaning (The Why Behind the What)
This is the existential stuff—does your client actually WANT what they think they want? Or are they chasing someone else's definition of health?
I had a guy who wanted to get "jacked" because his ex told him he was getting soft. Guess what happened when I helped him realize he actually preferred hiking to hitting the gym? Sustainable results for the first time in years.
Pillar 5: Relationship Dynamics (The Hidden Saboteurs)
Your client doesn't live in a vacuum. They've got partners who order pizza, kids who demand goldfish crackers, and friends who think their health kick is "too extreme."
I always ask: "Who in your life is making this harder, and who's making it easier?" The answers reveal everything about why they keep falling off the wagon.
Pillar 6: Environmental Reality (The Context That Controls Everything)
From the grocery store down the street to the stress of their commute, environment shapes choices more than willpower ever will.
Poor neighborhood with limited healthy food access? Work schedule that makes meal prep impossible? We're working with reality, not against it.
The Interconnected Web (Why This Isn't Woo-Woo BS)
Here's where it gets fascinating: these pillars aren't separate silos. They're more like a spider web—touch one strand, and the whole thing vibrates.
Take Marcus, a client who came to me wanting to lose weight for his daughter's wedding. Surface level goal, right? Wrong.
As we talked, I discovered:
- He was working 60+ hour weeks (mental bandwidth shot)
- His wife was resentful about his long hours (relationship strain)
- He felt like he was failing as a father and provider (existential crisis)
- His office was next to a food court (environmental challenge)
- He was using food to numb the guilt and stress (emotional coping)
Traditional coaching would've given him a meal plan and told him to hit the gym at 5 AM. Life archaeology helped him see that his weight was a symptom, not the problem.
We started with ONE small change: he began taking actual lunch breaks instead of eating at his desk. That led to better food choices, which gave him more energy, which helped him be more present at home, which improved his relationship with his wife, which reduced his stress eating.
One thread, entire web transformed.
The Questions That Change Everything
Forget complicated assessments. Here are the three questions I ask every client that reveal more than any fitness evaluation:
"What's really driving you to make this change right now?" (Not the surface answer—the deep one)
"What's on your personal garbage list?" (The behaviors they know are terrible but do anyway)
"Who or what in your environment is making this harder than it needs to be?"
Their answers tell me exactly where to start.
Common Traps (And How to Avoid Them)
Trap #1: Trying to Fix Everything at Once Just because you can see all six pillars doesn't mean you tackle them simultaneously. Pick the pillar that's most broken or easiest to shift, then let the ripple effects do their work.
Trap #2: Becoming a Therapist You're not qualified to treat clinical depression or marriage problems. Know when to refer out, but also know that lifestyle changes can significantly impact mental and relationship health.
Trap #3: Ignoring the Practical Sometimes the solution really IS as simple as keeping healthier snacks in the car. Don't overcomplicate what doesn't need complicating.
Your Next Move
If you're tired of watching clients yo-yo through the same cycles, it's time to evolve your practice. Start with one client this week. Instead of jumping straight into their meal plan review, ask them about their stress levels, their relationships, their sense of purpose.
I promise you'll learn more about their "food issues" in that conversation than you would from analyzing their food diary.
The fitness industry has convinced us that transformation is about discipline and willpower. But the clients who achieve lasting change? They're the ones whose coaches helped them excavate the real obstacles buried beneath the surface.
Your clients don't need another meal plan. They need someone willing to see them as a complete human being, not just a body to optimize.
Because here's the truth no one talks about: sustainable transformation isn't about perfecting someone's diet. It's about helping them create a life they don't want to escape from.
And THAT'S a conversation worth having.
What's one area of your clients' lives you've never explored? Drop a comment—I read every one and this stuff fascinates me.
