Why I Stopped Pretending to Be Perfect (And You Should Too)

I used to wake up at 5 AM to create "inspiring" LinkedIn posts.

You know the type—those perfectly curated carousel slides with stock photos and motivational quotes that make you want to throw your phone across the room. I'd spend hours crafting the "perfect" caption, obsessing over engagement rates, and basically cosplaying as a successful coach while secretly feeling like a fraud.

Spoiler alert: It didn't work. Well, it worked if your goal is to attract followers who don't actually buy anything and burn yourself out in the process.

Then I discovered something radical: What if I just... stopped pretending?

The Performance Trap That's Killing Your Business

Here's what nobody tells you about modern coaching: We've turned marketing into a full-time performance art. You're supposed to be the guru who has it all figured out, posting daily wisdom while maintaining the aesthetic of someone who definitely doesn't eat cereal for dinner three nights a week.

But here's the thing—your ideal clients? They eat cereal for dinner too. They're messy, overwhelmed, and tired of being sold to by people who seem to live on a different planet.

I came across a story recently about Tia Smith, a fitness coach in Atlanta who's built a thriving business by doing the exact opposite of what the marketing gurus tell you to do. No daily posting. No perfect Instagram aesthetic. No promise of abs in 30 days.

And get this—her email open rates are 60%. The industry average? About 20%.

So what's she doing that the rest of us aren't?

Lesson 1: Build What People Actually Want (Not What You Think They Need)

Before starting her coaching business, Tia taught fitness classes where women would literally follow her to the parking lot just to keep talking. Not about workout routines or meal plans—about life. Kids, jobs, the impossible task of finding time for themselves.

Most coaches would've ignored these conversations and focused on programming perfect workouts. Tia? She built her entire business around them.

Here's what I learned from this: Stop trying to convince people they need what you're selling. Start selling what they're already asking for.

I made this mistake for years. I was so focused on showing off my expertise that I completely missed what my potential clients were actually struggling with. They didn't need another productivity framework—they needed someone to tell them it was okay to not have their shit together 24/7.

Try this instead: In your next client conversation, ask these questions:

• What does a typical Tuesday look like for you?
• When do you feel most overwhelmed?
• What would "success" actually look like in your daily life?

Then shut up and listen. Your next service offering is probably sitting right there in their answers.

Lesson 2: Your "Hell No" List Is Your Secret Weapon

Tia tried making videos because someone told her she "had to" for the algorithm. It felt awful, so she stopped. Instead, she focused on newsletters and podcasts—formats that actually felt natural to her.

Revolutionary concept, right? Doing things that don't make you want to hide under your desk.

I keep a literal "Hell No" list on my desk. TikTok dances? Hell no. Daily Instagram stories? Hell no. Networking events where I have to pretend small talk energizes me? Double hell no.

Your assignment: Write down every marketing tactic you've been told you "should" do. Now cross off everything that makes you feel like you need a shower afterward. What's left? Those are your options.

You don't have to be on every platform. You don't have to follow every trend. The coaches making real money? They picked 1-2 things they're actually good at and went all in.

Lesson 3: Sustainable Beats Perfect (Every. Damn. Time.)

Pop quiz: How often should you post on social media?

If you answered anything other than "however often feels sustainable for you," you've been brainwashed by hustle culture.

Tia posts when she has something to say. Sometimes that's twice a week, sometimes it's radio silence for ten days. Her audience doesn't care because when she does show up, it's genuine and valuable.

Meanwhile, I see coaches burning out trying to post daily "value bombs" that mostly bomb because they're forcing it. Quality over quantity isn't just a nice saying—it's a business strategy.

My weekly reality check: At the start of each week, I make a list of what I want to accomplish. Not what I should accomplish or what Gary Vee says I need to accomplish. Just what feels doable for a human being with a life outside of content creation.

Some weeks I knock everything out. Some weeks life happens and I get to half my list. Both are fine because I'm playing the long game, not trying to win some imaginary sprint.

Lesson 4: Your Hot Mess Is Actually Your Superpower

Remember those parking lot conversations I mentioned? Tia's clients didn't follow her around because she was perfect. They followed her because she was real.

She talks about burning recipes and struggling to find time for herself. She admits when she doesn't have answers. And guess what? People love her for it.

This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. I thought I needed to be the coach who had conquered every productivity hack and life optimization strategy. Turns out, my clients relate more to the guy who sometimes procrastinates by reorganizing his bookshelf instead of writing proposals.

The comparison trap is real. Every time I start feeling like I'm not "expert" enough, I remind myself: There are people out there who need to hear from someone who gets their specific struggles. Not from someone who's transcended all human limitations.

Imposter syndrome antidote: Before creating any content, I imagine talking to one specific person who reminds me of my past self. What did I need to hear? What would have helped me feel less alone in my struggles?

Your perceived weaknesses are often your biggest strengths in disguise.

Lesson 5: Take the Shot (It Doesn't Need to Be Instagram-Perfect)

When Tia started her podcast, she was terrified nobody would listen. She did it anyway because she stopped waiting for the perfect moment with perfect equipment and perfect confidence.

I launched my first course with a typo in the sales page title. A TYPO. IN THE TITLE. Did people notice? Yes. Did they care more about the value I was providing? Also yes.

"Everything doesn't have to be a slam dunk," Tia says. "Not everyone is Steph Curry."

Reality check: Your first attempt at anything will probably suck a little. Your 50th attempt will suck less. Your 100th attempt might actually be pretty good. The only way to get to attempt 100 is to survive attempts 1-99.

Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting for perfect conditions. Stop waiting for confidence—it shows up through action, not the other way around.

What Actually Matters (Spoiler: It's Not Your Follower Count)

Tia measures success by email open rates and direct feedback from real humans. Not vanity metrics. Not viral posts. Not comparing herself to coaches with millions of followers selling courses on "authentic marketing" while clearly following a script.

The metrics that actually matter:

• Are people responding to your content like actual humans?
• Do potential clients feel comfortable reaching out to you?
• Can you sustain your current pace without burning out?
• Are you attracting people you actually want to work with?

That's it. Everything else is just noise designed to make you feel inadequate so you'll buy more courses on how to fix your "broken" business.

Your Permission Slip to Stop Performing

Here's what I wish someone had told me three years ago: You don't need to be the best coach in the world. You just need to be the right coach for your people.

Your future clients aren't looking for a perfect guru who's transcended all human struggles. They're looking for someone who gets it. Someone who's been where they are and found a way forward that doesn't require becoming a different person.

That's not about having all the answers. It's about being honest about your journey and showing up consistently as yourself—messy edges and all.

Stop trying to be the coach you think you should be. Start being the coach you needed when you were struggling.

Your people are waiting for you to give yourself permission to be human. What are you waiting for?

Ready to ditch the performance and build a coaching business that actually feels good? Start by making your "Hell No" list and see what you're left with. Then go do those things consistently for 90 days. I guarantee you'll learn more about effective marketing than any course could teach you.