Why I Stopped Chasing Higher Testosterone (And You Should Too)

Three months ago, I was doom-scrolling through yet another "testosterone optimization" thread on Reddit at 2 AM.

Yeah, I know. Not my finest moment.

But here's the thing—I wasn't even experiencing low T symptoms. My energy was good, my workouts were solid, and my relationship was thriving. Yet somewhere in my brain, this little voice kept whispering: "But what if your levels could be higher? What if you're settling for mediocre when you could be optimized?"

Sound familiar?

The Testosterone Trap That's Hijacking Male Wellness

We're living through what I call the "Testosterone Renaissance"—and it's not entirely a good thing.

Walk into any gym, scroll through any men's health forum, or listen to any biohacking podcast, and you'll be bombarded with the same message: Higher testosterone equals better man. Period.

But what if that's completely wrong?

What if our obsession with maximizing T-levels is actually preventing us from becoming the men we're meant to be?

Dr. John Berardi dropped a bomb on Instagram a while back that made me rethink everything. At 47, with a physique most 25-year-olds would kill for, he said something that would make most men's health influencers choke on their ashwagandha supplements:

"I'm sorta okay with diminishing testosterone."

His reasoning? Lower testosterone (within healthy ranges) might actually help men transition into wiser, more patient, more compassionate versions of themselves.

Mind. Blown.

The Problem With Treating Your Body Like a Ferrari

Here's what nobody talks about in those testosterone optimization forums: the relationship between testosterone and health isn't linear.

It's not like horsepower in a car where more equals better performance.

Think of it more like... salt in cooking. Too little and your food tastes bland. Too much and it's inedible. But there's this beautiful range in the middle where everything just works.

Dr. Denise Asafu-Adjei, a urologist who specializes in men's health, puts it perfectly: testosterone and health exist on a continuum. Both extremes—too low AND too high—create problems.

Extremely low testosterone brings fatigue, depression, brittle bones, and sexual dysfunction. But extremely high testosterone (think anabolic steroid levels) brings blood clots, heart damage, mood swings, and ironically... shrunken testicles and low sperm count.

The sweet spot? Somewhere in the middle. Not maximized. Optimized.

What If Aging Isn't the Enemy?

This is where things get interesting—and maybe a little uncomfortable for those of us raised on "never surrender" masculinity.

Some evolutionary biologists theorize that men evolved to have higher testosterone when young (for mating and competing) and lower levels when older (for parenting and mentoring).

Makes sense, right? The traits that help you win fights and attract mates at 25—aggression, competitiveness, risk-taking—aren't necessarily the same traits that make you a great father, mentor, or leader at 45.

I started noticing this in my own life. As my testosterone naturally declined from its peak (I'm 38 now), I found myself becoming:

• More patient with difficult conversations
• Less reactive to criticism
• More interested in helping others succeed than proving my own worth
• Better at seeing multiple perspectives in conflicts

Was I losing my edge? Or was I gaining something more valuable?

The Real Way to Optimize (Spoiler: It's Not Supplements)

Okay, let's get practical. Because while I believe in embracing natural decline, I'm not suggesting you ignore your health or accept feeling terrible.

If you're experiencing genuine symptoms of low testosterone—chronic fatigue, depression, loss of muscle mass, sexual dysfunction—get checked by a professional. Real hypogonadism affects about 35% of men over 45, and it's a legitimate medical condition that may require treatment.

But for the majority of us? The "optimization" strategies that actually work are embarrassingly simple:

1. Eat Enough (Yes, Enough)

Your body isn't stupid. When it thinks there's a famine, it shuts down non-essential functions. Like making babies.

I see this constantly with high-achieving guys who exercise hard and eat "clean" but are chronically under-fueled. They're essentially telling their bodies: "We're in survival mode. No time for reproduction."

Dr. Berardi often tells these men to simply add a couple hundred calories of quality protein and carbs. A protein smoothie with some fruit. Steel-cut oats with nuts. That's it.

Revolutionary? Hardly. Effective? Absolutely.

2. Sleep Like It's Your Job

Testosterone production follows a circadian rhythm. It peaks during your first REM cycle and rebuilds while you sleep.

Skip sleep, tank your T. It's that simple.

One study showed that just five hours of sleep for eight days dropped testosterone levels by 10-15%. But here's what's crazy—most guys will spend hundreds of dollars on supplements before they'll commit to getting eight hours of sleep.

3. Move Your Body (But Don't Overdo It)

Resistance training gives you more testosterone bang for your buck than cardio, but both help. The key is finding the sweet spot between enough stimulus and too much stress.

I learned this the hard way during my CrossFit obsession phase. More wasn't better. It was just more.

Now? I lift heavy things 2-3 times per week, walk daily, and actually recover between sessions. My energy is more stable, my mood is better, and yes—my testosterone levels are fine.

4. Manage Your Relationship With Stress

Chronic stress pumps out cortisol, which suppresses testosterone production. But here's the nuance: acute stress can actually boost T temporarily.

The goal isn't to eliminate all stress (impossible and unhealthy). It's to develop a better relationship with it.

For me, that meant leaving the startup world where I was chronically activated and building a career that challenges me without consuming me.

5. Keep Body Fat in the Goldilocks Zone

Too much body fat increases aromatase, an enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen. Too little body fat signals starvation mode.

The answer isn't getting shredded year-round (trust me, I tried). It's maintaining a healthy body composition you can sustain without obsessing over every calorie.

The Supplement Trap

Real talk: The supplement industry has turned testosterone optimization into a casino where the house always wins.

Walk into any supplement store and you'll find shelves of "natural testosterone boosters" promising to unlock your inner alpha. Most of them are expensive ways to produce expensive urine.

The one exception? Zinc. If you're genuinely deficient (and many people are), correcting that deficiency can help. But supplementing zinc when you're not deficient won't magically boost your T levels.

Save your money. Invest in better food, a gym membership, and blackout curtains instead.

Reframing the Conversation

Here's what I wish someone had told me when I was spiraling down testosterone rabbit holes at 2 AM:

The goal isn't to be the same man at 40 that you were at 25. It's to be the best version of the man you're becoming.

Maybe that means accepting that you won't build muscle as easily as you used to. But maybe it also means discovering that you're more emotionally intelligent, more patient, more capable of deep relationships than you've ever been.

Maybe your slightly lower testosterone isn't a bug—it's a feature.

The Question That Changed Everything

Instead of asking "How do I optimize my testosterone?" I started asking "What kind of man do I want to become as I age?"

The answers surprised me:

• More present with the people I love
• More focused on contribution than competition
• More comfortable with vulnerability and uncertainty
• More interested in building others up than proving myself right

Funny thing? Pursuing these qualities—through therapy, meditation, meaningful work, and deeper relationships—has improved my health more than any supplement stack ever could.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I'm not suggesting you embrace decline or stop taking care of yourself. I'm suggesting you question whether the metrics you're optimizing for are actually serving the life you want to build.

Your testosterone levels are just one data point in a much larger equation. And that equation includes things like wisdom, emotional intelligence, patience, compassion, and the ability to see beyond your own immediate needs.

These aren't consolation prizes for aging. They're superpowers that become available when you stop fighting your biology and start working with it.

A Challenge for You

Next time you find yourself worried about your testosterone levels, ask yourself:

• Am I experiencing actual symptoms, or am I just anxious about a number?
• What would change in my life if my levels were "optimal"?
• What am I afraid of losing as I age?
• What might I be gaining that I'm not paying attention to?

Maybe the real optimization isn't about maximizing hormones. Maybe it's about maximizing the human being you're becoming.

And maybe—just maybe—that's exactly the kind of man the world needs more of.

What's your relationship with aging and optimization? Have you noticed qualities emerging as you've gotten older that you value more than the ones you had when younger? Drop a comment and let's have a real conversation about what it means to age well as men.