Fitness & Exercise
Why CrossFit's "Commandments" Are Keeping You Small I've been seeing this list of "CrossFit Commandments" floating around again, and honestly? It's making me a bit uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong—I spent six years as a competitive CrossFitter.
Fitness & Exercise
Why Comfortable Learning is Killing Your Progress Last month I found myself face-down in the dirt of a Mongolian wrestling ground, getting absolutely demolished by a 60-year-old herder who barely spoke English. My ribs ached, my ego was bruised, and I couldn't feel my left shoulder. It was
Fitness & Exercise
Stop Shaming Rest: Why Your "Sneaky" Breaks Are Actually Smart Training Listen up, warriors. I gotta tell you about Sarah. Sarah was crushing it in my 6 AM class last Tuesday. We're talking about a beast who deadlifts 2x bodyweight and can string together muscle-ups like
Fitness & Exercise
Why Your Deadlift Sucks (And It's Not What You Think) Let me tell you about the day I nearly shit myself under a loaded barbell. It was 2019, some dingy powerlifting meet in Oakland. I'm standing over 495 pounds thinking I'm hot stuff, and
Fitness & Exercise
Why Kettlebell Sport Broke My Brain (In the Best Way) Two years ago, I was that guy. You know the one - grinding through another soul-crushing sprint at a tech startup, living on energy drinks and the occasional protein bar. My "workout" consisted of angry treadmill sessions where
Fitness & Exercise
Why Most CrossFit Gyms Suck (And What the Great Ones Actually Do) I've been to 47 different CrossFit gyms across three countries. Yeah, I counted. Don't judge me—I'm weird like that. Want to know the brutal truth? About 40 of them were forgettable
Fitness & Exercise
The Radical Act of Walking Slowly I used to measure my worth in steps per minute. Not kidding. There was this period—let's call it my "optimization era"—when I'd sprint-walk to meetings, timing my pace like some sort of efficiency robot. Faster meant
Fitness & Exercise
Stop Chasing Your Future Self I need to tell you something that's gonna sting a little. You know that version of yourself you're working towards? The one with the perfect squat form and the confidence to wear crop tops without sucking in your stomach? The one
Fitness & Exercise
I spent three years thinking I was genetically cursed to be weak. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6 AM, I'd drag myself to the gym to follow the same strength program that had transformed my roommate into a mini-Schwarzenegger. I tracked every rep, measured every protein shake,
Fitness & Exercise
Look, I'm gonna start this with something that'll probably piss off half the fitness "experts" out there: Those calorie counters on your treadmill? Pure fiction. And that article you read about burning 617 calories in 30 minutes? Missing the entire damn point. The Inconvenient
Fitness & Exercise
Stop Training Like a Civilian If You Want to Survive Selection I still remember watching Jenkins collapse at the 1.8km mark during our selection run. Kid had been crushing 10-milers every damn day for months leading up to it. His Instagram was full of motivational bullsh*t about "
Fitness & Exercise
Why You're Still Slow at 5Ks (And How to Actually Fix It) Let me tell you about the time I completely bombed a 5K after following what I thought was the "perfect" training plan. Picture this: 6 months of religiously tracking every split, obsessing over my
Fitness & Exercise
The Fitness Comparison Trap Is Worse Than You Think I used to screenshot deadlift videos at 2 AM. Yeah, I was that guy. Lying in bed, scrolling through Instagram, saving clips of 20-year-old powerlifters pulling triple bodyweight like it was nothing. Then I'd wake up the next morning,
Fitness & Exercise
Why Hemsworth's Workout Actually Works (And Why Yours Probably Doesn't) Real talk from someone who's been behind the Hollywood muscle-making machine Alright, let me tell you something that'll probably piss off half the fitness influencers on Instagram. I've been in
Fitness & Exercise
Method Man Just Schooled Every Fake Fitness Celebrity And why his 120lb dumbbell presses hit different than your typical celeb workout Look, I'm gonna be straight with you. When I see another celebrity posting gym content, I usually roll my eyes so hard they practically fall out my
Fitness & Exercise
Why the 8-Minute Mile Is Your Running Rubicon I'll never forget the first time I cracked an 8-minute mile. Not because it was particularly graceful (it wasn't), or because I felt like a gazelle floating across the pavement (I absolutely didn't). I remember it