Stop Apologizing for Your Sleep Schedule

I used to wake up feeling guilty. Not because I'd done something terrible the night before (though let's not talk about that Netflix binge), but because my sleep app cheerfully informed me I'd gotten 10.5 hours of sleep. Again.

"You exceeded your sleep goal!" it would announce, like I'd accidentally eaten an entire cake instead of, you know, doing the thing my body apparently needed to function.

For years, I carried this weird shame about being a "long sleeper." I'd lie to coworkers about what time I went to bed, set multiple alarms to prove I was trying to be "normal," and constantly wondered what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I be one of those mythical people who springs out of bed after exactly 7.5 hours, ready to conquer the world?

Turns out, I was asking the wrong question entirely.

The 8-Hour Myth That's Messing With Your Head

Here's something that might blow your mind: that "8 hours of sleep" thing? It's basically the nutritional equivalent of "drink 8 glasses of water a day" — a rough guideline that somehow became gospel truth.

The reality is way more interesting (and liberating). Sleep needs exist on a spectrum, and some of us are just wired differently. Scientists have identified people called "Natural Long Sleepers" who genuinely need 10, 11, or even 12 hours to function optimally. It's not laziness, it's not a character flaw — it's literally in their DNA.

Meanwhile, there are "Natural Short Sleepers" walking among us who feel amazing on 5-6 hours. I know, I hate them too. (Kidding! Sort of.)

The point is, your sleep needs are as individual as your coffee order. And just like you wouldn't feel bad about preferring oat milk over almond milk, you shouldn't feel guilty about needing more sleep than the person sitting next to you.

Why Sleep Shaming Needs to Die

I blame productivity culture for this mess. Somewhere along the way, we decided that needing lots of sleep was a weakness — like admitting you can't survive on hustle and caffeine alone makes you less worthy of success.

But here's what's actually happening when you consistently get the sleep you need: your immune system works better, your mood stabilizes, you make better decisions, and you're generally less likely to snap at innocent baristas. Revolutionary stuff, right?

The research on "oversleeping" being dangerous? It's way more nuanced than the headlines suggest. Most studies showing negative health effects from long sleep are actually identifying underlying health issues — not proving that sleep itself is the problem.

Think about it this way: if you're sleeping 14+ hours and still feel exhausted, that's like eating constantly but still feeling hungry. The issue isn't the eating (or sleeping) — something else is going on that needs attention.

Finding Your Sleep Signature

Instead of forcing yourself into someone else's sleep schedule, what if you got curious about your own patterns? I like to think of it as finding your "sleep signature" — the unique combination of duration, timing, and environment that makes you feel human again.

Start by paying attention to how you feel, not just how long you slept. After those 10-hour nights, are you bouncing out of bed ready to text everyone back and tackle your to-do list? Or are you dragging yourself through the day counting hours until you can collapse again?

If it's the former — congratulations, you've found your sweet spot! If it's the latter, it might be worth exploring whether something's interfering with your sleep quality. Things like sleep apnea, depression, or even certain medications can make you need more sleep to feel rested.

The Weekend Sleep-In Trap (And Why It Happens)

Quick side note for all my fellow weekend warriors: yes, sleeping in on Saturday can sometimes make you feel worse, not better. But before you use this as evidence that you're "sleeping too much," consider what's actually happening.

If you're getting 6 hours during the week and then crashing for 11 hours on Saturday, you're not oversleeping — you're trying to pay back a massive sleep debt. Your body is literally trying to recover from five days of not getting what it needs.

The grogginess you feel isn't because you slept "too much" — it's because you've been sleep-deprived for days, and your circadian rhythm is confused by the sudden schedule change. It's like expecting your body to seamlessly switch between two different time zones every week.

Practical Tips for Sleep Liberation

Ready to break up with sleep guilt? Here's how to start:

Experiment without judgment. Give yourself permission to sleep as much as you want for a week or two (I know, terrifying). Track how you feel during the day, not just the hours you logged.

Create your ideal sleep environment. If you need 10 hours, you might as well make them good hours. Dark room, cool temperature, comfortable mattress — all that unsexy but important stuff.

Question your sleep disruptors. Are you staying up scrolling because you're not tired, or because you're procrastinating bedtime? (Revenge bedtime procrastination is real, and it's spectacular at messing up your natural rhythms.)

Stop time-math-ing yourself to sleep. You know that thing where you calculate "if I fall asleep right NOW, I can get exactly 7.5 hours"? Cut it out. Anxiety is not a sleep aid.

Listen to your energy, not your apps. Sleep trackers can be useful, but they're not the boss of you. If your device says you got "poor" sleep but you feel amazing, trust your body over the algorithm.

When to Actually Worry

Look, I'm not saying you should ignore everything and sleep 15 hours a day while insisting it's "self-care." There are times when dramatic changes in sleep patterns warrant attention:

• If you suddenly start needing way more sleep than usual
• If you're sleeping long hours but never feel rested
• If daytime sleepiness is interfering with your life (like, falling asleep at work level)
• If you suspect underlying health issues

In these cases, definitely chat with a doctor. But if you've always been a long sleeper and you feel good? You're probably just being you.

The Permission You Didn't Know You Needed

Here's what I wish someone had told my anxious, sleep-tracking younger self: your body is not broken just because it doesn't match the "standard" recommendation. You're not lazy for needing more rest. You're not optimizing wrong.

Maybe you need 9 hours. Maybe you need 10. Maybe your perfect amount changes with the seasons, your stress levels, or what phase of life you're in. All of this is normal and human and fine.

The goal isn't to need less sleep — it's to get the sleep you actually need without feeling guilty about it. Revolutionary concept, I know.

Your Turn

So here's my challenge for you: this week, try sleeping without apologizing for it. Don't preface conversations with "I know I slept a lot, but..." Don't set alarms that fight against your natural rhythms just to prove you're trying hard enough.

Instead, get curious. How much sleep makes you feel like the best version of yourself? What would change if you stopped trying to optimize your sleep and started honoring it instead?

Your sleep schedule doesn't need to impress anyone. It just needs to work for you.

And if anyone gives you grief about being a "long sleeper," send them this article and then go take a nap. You've earned it.